Corporate Cult
Onboard us. We are not allowed to leave.
You are running the all-hands for a company that will not say what it does. Deliver the onboarding deck with total HR sincerity — values, perks, and a policy nobody is allowed to question. The room rates you on Compliance, Quiet Menace and Believability.
How it works
- 1.Everyone presents a different mandatory meeting
- 2.Never say what the company actually does
- 3.Sincerity only — no winking at the audience
- 4.End on a policy, not a joke
Your deck is already started
Nobody starts at a blank white slide. Every player gets these 5 slides pre-laid-out in the Corporate Beige theme, with a prompt on each one telling you what goes there.
Welcome Aboard
Warm. Slightly too warm.
Our Values (Effective Immediately)
Three words. One of them should be unsettling.
What We Actually Do
Answer without answering. Use a diagram.
The Perks
List benefits that are quietly conditions.
Attendance Is Tracked
Close on the rule. Do not soften it.
How you're scored
After each presentation the room votes on three things specific to this mode — not generic “was it good”.
Compliance
Would you have gone along with it?
I'd quit → I've signed
Quiet Menace
How much dread under the friendliness?
Harmless → Deeply wrong
Believability
Did it sound like a real company?
Cartoonish → I've worked here
Corporate Cult prompts
Every player is dealt a different one of these.
- Day one at a company that will not tell you what it does
- Our new values, effective immediately
- Why we removed the chairs
- Introducing the Wellness Initiative (mandatory)
- Q3 vibes: a required presentation
- The reorg, explained with animals
- Please stop asking about the third floor
- Synergy: a love story
- An update on the thing we cannot name
- Your new manager (and where the old one went)
- The offsite: attendance and expectations
- Rolling out the new tone-of-voice guidelines
Ready to run Corporate Cult?
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Start a partyOther game modes
Classic Shuffle
The original. One topic, everyone suffers together.
Startup Roast
Pitch a company that should not exist. Get funded anyway.
Things I'd Replace My ___ With
One slot. One replacement. Defend it to the room.
Conspiracy Defense
Five slides. Zero evidence. Make us believe.
Red Flag Runway
Present your worst quality like it's a feature.
Pitch The Room
Sell something nobody here wants. They cannot leave.